I’ve decided that I will no longer be keeping track of the what day it is, as far as this blog is concerned. I don’t feel it as important as focusing on what the substance of the writing will be, so I shall just be sharing through new titles in no particular order.
This past week as well as the one before it has held a lot of new things that have been nothing but uplifting. Last week my new companion and I,” that’s how I will refer to her, seeing that I’m leaving it to the Lord to make the title what He will”, to a concert that i performed at last Friday night. A few of my old friends that I haven’t really communicated with in about 6 months ended up showing up. I felt strange at first due to the previous situation and the fact that they more or less just ceased communication with me because of it. But it was great. I nonchalantly walked over and said hi and said that it was great to see them. About ten minutes later they came over to talk and I introduced them to my new friend. They were so open and welcoming which gave me a great peace. This really showed me that they had gotten over what had happened in the past and where ready to move on. As I played they made her feel welcome in there company by including her in their conversation and hanging out with her. the following day I got to have the opportunity to attend frisbee again, which I haven’t been able to do in months. Again, nothing but open arms welcoming me back and good friends willing to move forward and just enjoy our time.
More and more things continue to happen in my days that are perpetually leading me closer and closer to where I need to be next. I haven’t blogged in a couple weeks, but I”m not sure if it was from no motivation or just a thought that I was getting bored with it. But today has been a delight in itself. Through the last handful of days I’ve been contacted by old friends who I once has to stop talking to in order to get my life and my self back in track to where I needed to be. But one by one they have showed me that what I continue to sit here and write each time I do so, truly has a purpose. It’s not my place to stop God’s word and intervention if I’ve been blessed as a vessel for Him to work through. He has been able to take the people who have meant so much to me, that have struggled with the same things, and used me to shine His light through.
Today I was contacted at such a perfect time on my ride home from my little vacation. It was an old Co Worker I worked with a couple years ago that I hadn’t talked to in over 5 months. She is going through a lot, and a lot of things that I can relate to and understand so well. Things that I had to let go of, conquer and grow from. But now l’ve been graced with the circumstance that has put me where I need to be in order to help. We met for lunch and shared a great conversation. So many things had been building and building for so long and has finally brought her to her breaking point at rock bottom. Most people would view thing as a tragedy, but I was filled with Hope. I was filled will a happiness that only let my eyes see her strength. The strength to start the first step. The strength to start this new journey that she has been craving for so long.
The best part was that the similarities between her and my new found companion were so complimentary towards one another’s healing. I smiled as I admired God’s glorious step in the plan unseen. The fact that He could take two people that would have never met in any circumstance and used me to potentially bring the two together was remarkable. I so excited to hopefully share what may come of that.
As I was out of town my “friend” and I sat at the bookstore there and I got on my computer to write music as she did her daily devotional. I once prayed a long time ago that if I wasn’t to lead the Ministry that has been set upon my heart, that I would meet the person who would be the one to do so. Each and every time I meet with her she feels more and more strongly about it. She feels a calling to take Know Hope Ministries and help build it’s foundation. I felt called to create it, but didn’t know where to start as far as who it would be targeted to. She feels in her heart that it should start as a relationships ministry. Each time she has more and more ideas towards it, and no until this weekend did I see how much she was called to do so.
She sat across the table in astonishment as she read both her daily devotional as well as her book on Mother Theresa. The both combined spoke to her so well hand in hand, that she was filled with so much compassion and conviction that she broke into tears at least three times. That is the most I’ve seen God shine through her. It was so heart warming to see her in that state. That’s the face and feeling of true happiness. Not the happiness that we try to create for ourselves in our own doings, but a happiness that can only be brought forth from the Lord.
After all of these things that have happened that have once again revived me in order to write again, yet another great thing happened seconds before I sat down here tonight. For the longest time , especially throughout the time I first started all this, I had felt like I should put a retreat together. I felt like it would be a perfect compilation of music, talking, fellowship and experience. Tonight I ran into an old friend I used to do retreats with. Mainly I just did the music and so forth, but in talking we seem to see eye to eye on where the future of things both in the church and in the community are going. He said he loved to write retreats and would be really interested in writing on with me. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I think it could be something that would be very good in the church community and that would bring healing to a lot of people. If all of what I’ve been though has been done in order to bring healing towards the world through what has happened, then I’m more than a hundred percent willing to go forth in full dedication to bring God’s will to whom ever needs it.
I’m so excited to see what this next week will hold. I can’t even imagine worrying about the things I used to in my past. God has me completely under His love arms and will continue to bless me with what I need. Believing in God will not free you from hurt or things that may bring you challenges in life, but He will bring you through each of those situations to be stronger and wiser. He is the only comfort that we should seek. Until we realize this, He shall continue to place you in situations that will help you see what you need to let go of. This is not a bad thing, but a blessing. We view losing things as a sign of loss and regression, when in fact it is a direct touch from God telling us what we need and don’t need.
We will find that what we try to not be most in our lives is what the Lord will have us become, even for just a short amount of time, in order to feel that defeat. In order to feel the need for Him, and to know that we cannot do it alone. It is in the times we have become what we hate, that we can see love for wanting to become what the Lord will make us.
Go in peace, go in love. Go out to the world and be open in every way. If we are closed off to others then we may never find how to become “ONE” as brothers and sisters. We are the world of the searching, lets walk this journey together. God Bless.